It’s Pancake day – when the year begins its sudden mad dash into spring and towards Easter. We don’t know about you but we plan to spend as much of this time as possible skiing in the mountains.
It’s just such a shame that we have to combine this time of the year with giving up something we love, like chocolate and wine. Curse you Lent!
Well, not this year! We’re taking this opportunity to give up our worst ski habits – the on piste behaviours we hate to admit we’re guilty of. We’ve been meaning to give them up for years and this time we’ll finally going do it!
Yes, these are the bad ski habits we’re giving up for lent:
1. Falling in love with our ski instructor
Perhaps it’s the rugged, mountain man appearance, beautifully tanned by snow bounced sunlight. Perhaps it’s the way the hips sway while performing perfect parallel turns. Perhaps it’s their ability to ski backwards while simultaneously rescuing a small child from a piste basher. So dreamy…
What were we talking about again? Oh yes, giving things ups! Let’s face it, it will never last. You’re only here for a week, he doesn’t use Facebook and you’re too old for a pen pal.
Also, he’s married.
2. Stopping for hot chocolate after the first hour
Hot chocolate and skiing go together like… like two really amazing things that go together. We’re not out of metaphors, we just think that hot chocolate and skiing are a unique partnership.
That said the temptation for a hot chocolate pit-stop plays on our mind all morning. And we’re really bad at resisting temptation, diving into the nearest café after the first chairlift.
Well, no longer! Hot chocolate works best with skiing when it’s a reward for tackling those awesome moguls, cruising down high altitude glaciers and plunging down those steep blacks. We’re not going to go for a hot chocolate until…er…at least 11 o’clock!
3. Asking someone else to carry our jumper
We like to ski light. Not only does this make us feel free and flexible but it prevents us from being pushed face first off a chair lift by our unfortunately large backpack.
…And then we start to overheat. Like any responsible skier we’re wearing all the layers but it’s a barmy bluebird day and we’re really working those slopes. Turning to our backpack-sporting friend we muster our best puppy in peril impression and ask… “any chance I can put this in your backpack?”
It’s a cardinal sin. The answers always ‘yes’ but it’s a reluctant one and we know deep down we’re burdening others with our own mistakes. We’re not going to be that person anymore. We’re finally going to wear a backpack.
4. Looooooooooooooooonnng Lunches
Or as we like to call them: “ski-estas”. We’re a sucker for a long lunch break on the slopes. Yet, with so many amazing mountain restaurants out there serving everything from cheesy tartiflette to gigantic burgers and mouth-watering Kässpätzle can you blame us?
You’re right of course. All these generous portions are doing nothing for our waistline let alone our fall line, and we did come here to do exercise. Skiing is exercise right?
It’s just so hard to resist. When the sun beats down on a gorgeous restaurant terrace with its stunning mountain vista, how can you not slowly slip into a food coma on your deckchair? That’s when we wake up two hours later and realise it’s already time for après.
5. Beginning après ski at 2pm
Don’t get us wrong, we throw some spectacular dance moves when we visit the open-air bars and slopeside DJ performances. You haven’t lived if you’ve not seen our ‘ski boot moonwalk’, which amazingly gets easier with each local tipple we sample.
Yet, we can’t shift that nagging sense of guilt, when we roll up at our chalet for afternoon tea, that we could have done more skiing. On reflection, the fact that après was essentially a 4-hour extension of lunch may have had something to do with it.
This bad habit once again falls into the ‘I actually came here to ski’ category. We can only hope that dancing on table tops in your ski boots burns as many calories.
6. Pretending I know how to use the snow park
Let’s be honest, making a T shape with your arms as you ride over a tiny kicker isn’t freestyling. And just because you landed your up-and-over attempt at jumping doesn’t make you cool. You’re only embarrassing yourself in front of a bunch of teenage park rats who do this kind of thing for a living.
Worst comes to worst you’ll only hurt yourself as you approach the jump too quickly and accidentally backflip. If you’re lucky you’ll land face first in a deep pile of snow, emerging dazed and speaking German for some reason.
Not that that’s happened to us before…*cough*…
7. Moaning about drag-lifts
Drag-lifts are a necessary evil. I don’t know about you but some of the best ski runs I’ve ever done have been accessed by drag-lifts. Glaciers offer fantastic, often year round skiing yet are essentially ice rivers where it’s impossible to build a permanent chairlift.
Despite knowing this I never fail to moan about my drag lift experience. Whether it’s a T-bar whacking me in the back of the head as it pings to the sky or performing up-hill hopscotch over the latest person to fall over, there’s so much to complain about.
But look – now you’re at the top of the mountain with tens of kilometres of powder in front of you! All you’ve done by moaning is bore your poor T-bar partner to tears. Save the moaning for those cold, grey days at home – that’s when you’ll need it.
See also: moaning about stairs.
8. Eating ALL the cheese
We’ve all been there. You order the fondue AND the raclette, stuffing your face with so much melted, liquid cheese that it wraps around your oesophagus. That’s something we all identify with, right?
There’s no way you could ever persuade us to give up cheese completely. Yet something of our past experience tells us that you can have too much of a good thing. Even when it comes to the cheese menu.
We solemnly swear we will no longer have eyes bigger than our stomach. And we will no longer attempt to eat so much cheese in one sitting that we begin to hallucinate (again)!
That about sums up our terrible ski habits. But just so we don’t feel like the worst skier on the mountain tell us what terrible ski habits you plan on giving up this Lent…
Check out some of our amazing ski holidays this spring: here.